My head has been dizzy lately, literally . I get lightheaded often and the fact that i always wake up too early in the morning due to dreams isn't helping. In a way I'm very fatigued since a lots happened lately .
I don't know at all if what we decided on was the correct choice and i do want to change it and see if there's a better way. Without her i really don't know what to do, there doesn't seem to be any direction in life right now. First thing in the morning as soon as i wake is realize i don't have her by me anymore. In a weird sense i do feel that me and her are meant for each other .. too much confidence ? maybe but i don't mind because it seems about right, well to me anyway. I don't want to find anyone else anymore. This is probably a time in my life where i know when to be serious about things, and honestly i want to get things right and have her in my life.
"Crazy is what crazy do ...Crazy in love, I'm a crazy fool"
Monday, November 30, 2009
Sunday, November 29, 2009
Guess
To shop for necessities I've found only 2, sadly I'm not one to find a casual ordinary wallet or belt.
For some reason i want a Guess wallet or Belt !
For some reason i want a Guess wallet or Belt !
A Drop in The Ocean
"A drop in the ocean,
A change in the weather,
I was praying that you and me might end up together.
It's like wishing for rain as I stand in the desert,
But I'm holding you closer than most,
'Cause you are my heaven. "
Another day has passed and marks another day i feel pain
Dreams I've had lately really took a toll on me, i would just wake up and check my phone and see if what i dreamt about really happened, in a way i feel better that the crap that happens in my dreams didn't happen, but that would mean waking up and realizing she isn't by my side anymore. It hurts a whole lot thinking about times i held her close and it hurts to know i cant hold her like that anymore.
In another hour or so I'll be going to the shore, just because i feel the need to sense that calmness and peacefulness i once felt whenever i was with her.
I've come to realize that she does need time to sort things out, and I'm willing to give her time because I'd literally wait forever for her, and I'd just wish she would hear what i have to say as well but time will tell...right ?
My philosophy a few days ago of " do or die " has been abandoned just because i know circumstances are totally different this time. As these days pass by i know we both would try to call out a distress call to each other but no one wants to reach out till something solidifies maybe ?
All that i can do is hope.
A change in the weather,
I was praying that you and me might end up together.
It's like wishing for rain as I stand in the desert,
But I'm holding you closer than most,
'Cause you are my heaven. "
Another day has passed and marks another day i feel pain
Dreams I've had lately really took a toll on me, i would just wake up and check my phone and see if what i dreamt about really happened, in a way i feel better that the crap that happens in my dreams didn't happen, but that would mean waking up and realizing she isn't by my side anymore. It hurts a whole lot thinking about times i held her close and it hurts to know i cant hold her like that anymore.
In another hour or so I'll be going to the shore, just because i feel the need to sense that calmness and peacefulness i once felt whenever i was with her.
I've come to realize that she does need time to sort things out, and I'm willing to give her time because I'd literally wait forever for her, and I'd just wish she would hear what i have to say as well but time will tell...right ?
My philosophy a few days ago of " do or die " has been abandoned just because i know circumstances are totally different this time. As these days pass by i know we both would try to call out a distress call to each other but no one wants to reach out till something solidifies maybe ?
All that i can do is hope.
Saturday, November 28, 2009
As i tried to hold her, I left this pain with a kiss on the cheek.
Been too long since I've last posted but life's become quite hectic, A lots happened as of late more difficulties then rewards. Financial problems and relationship problems or well I'm not sure if i can say that anymore since i don't have a relationship anymore. All the past few months I've thought we were doing OK, i mean there's been rough edges here and there but what people don't ? Maybe I've gave off a wrong sign by making it seems as if i was tired or sick of fighting and arguing more then usual but eventually things workout, Me and her never spend that much time staying mad at each other anyway, and besides.. as long as by the end of the day we know we'd still have each other and still love each other then... i feel as if life really cant be that bad because i know I'd still have her. Somewhere along this road we slipped and sure we both feel like shit and such when we argue but it would never compare to losing that person. I guess between this and everything else that's happened to me life has gone back downhill.
I've never been much of a person who would give something up as long as i believe in it enough to be worth every single breath I've got.
I probably also bottled up those feelings of lost and despair for too long without getting them out, so apparently i let it all out yesterday, the water works and such, sick display for even i couldn't believe it took such a toll on me which is worse when i miss her also.
As i type this i have this scared feeling.. i really am scared to lose her i know.
I've never been much of a person who would give something up as long as i believe in it enough to be worth every single breath I've got.
I probably also bottled up those feelings of lost and despair for too long without getting them out, so apparently i let it all out yesterday, the water works and such, sick display for even i couldn't believe it took such a toll on me which is worse when i miss her also.
As i type this i have this scared feeling.. i really am scared to lose her i know.
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