Fushimi.

Dinner was fine, I originally didn't plan to go seeing as how I'm a bit low on cash but i went, a good amount of people were there, and yeah it was bad.. we ate some pretty unique food you can say and shared a few laughs. The atmosphere wasn't bad either, a bit pricey but you only turn 18 once and my sister was turning 19 so heck why not.
I'm pretty assed out even as I'm typing this up right now, just got home after about 3-4 hours of playing cards at a friends house while snacking on cinnamon buns, chips and Capri sun. It feels more fun than crap like bar hopping etc.
I miss her a lot as well, an hr or so after i last saw her i started missing her, if I'm correct.. this is definitely love or well, that's how i feel anyways but spending practically the whole day with her made my day, while the rest of my buddies made my night.
Halloween is tomorrow and usually i don't celebrate it in any way after i got into my sophomore year. I doubt there's going to be "huge" plans anyway. Was invited to a drinking party but i enjoy staying sober also, drinking brings me no satisfaction anymore, especially knowing she wouldn't like it also.
Only thing to look forward to now is Sunday, my official birthday, hmm what will happen, i wonder ha

1pm

Another day as i sit by a rainy day, as the countdown begins the anticipation quickens. My sister's birthday is tomorrow which means i should buy the birthday card soon in this rainy day. I'll live i guess but i hate going out in a rainy day unless it was to see my girlfriend, which I'd walk down a blizzard for, but through the rain for school and such is just ridiculous.
My body seems to have been rusty that's why after working out my arms and stomach area is sore. I'm not horribly in pain but I'm not a fan of long lasting physical pain.
Birthday wise I've no idea whats to happen, my family wants to do a gathering kind of crap, I want to see my girlfriend that day and i also have no idea what to expect , presents ? uhh i haven't gotten any the past few years so I'm not expecting anything major this time either. The birthday dinner kind of thing shouldn't be too bad, my sister is really looking forward to it but i guess that's to be expected since she says this is her last yr in NY for a while. Me on the other hand would've been fine with a smaller group but i guess anything is OK in the end. Birthday cake !? i donttt think I'm seeing one this year haha

GFLX

Well most likely your reading this because you saw my away message and well, since we're too stubborn to talk to eachother on aim or so i'll just tell you here that I really do love you, whenever this kinda crap happens we both try and provoke eachother which is true -__-
I want you to know I'll take the time to build up our trust again piece by piece and sure I'm a bit uneasy because you don't trust me but if its for you then I'll go through anything to make you happy although i know that the fact that you can't trust me makes you unhappy as well but it seems sometimes that you wouldn't notice all the thing's I've done. Unconditional love.. that's what i hope to provide for you. I wish that you'd be a bit less stubborn tho -.-" haha, makes it sometimes seem like you don't care but no matter what i'll always have that S on my chest for you ;)

11:00 pm

Awake ! and ready for anything !.. unfortunately its rainingggg wow, i was hoping it wouldn't so I'd get a few things done today and would be able to go out but i woke up and saw my window splattered with rain WTHH. Guess its only school for me today.
I found out Ne-Yo sings from a lot of different perspectives, most of his songs are coming from the the view of a guy but i dug some up that actually comes from a girl's view although you can just switch up the words a bit and it'd be for a guy. I'm not complaining about his song because they are pretty dam good andd as i type this i just looked out my window, rain is GONE but nowhere to go now its still a pointless sit at home till school crap, only thing I'm looking forward to right now is cinema class, new horror movie COME TO ME ! :D

What goes up, must come BACK down

As the post title says " What goes up, must come BACK down ". In general my day should have been a bit better than a typical school day which consists of a routine following : waking up, brunch, comp/anime all in all while talking to my gf if she was online, she is in day school haha , the better side of education per say . Although today i did receive my report card with some miraculous news.. i passed nearly all my classes, sure they were a bit low and i failed one class this marking period but hey its improvement, like a major improvement from the previous years that I've attended this school so I guess you can say i was pretty satisfied with the grades knowing that it can only get better from here. Far from being the least bit of satisfied, my girlfriend was pretty damn disappointed at my report card actually, I guess when your with someone who's used to 90s and such that there would be disappointment instead of any sort of satisfactory comments. Basically my "better than usual" mood was shot down easily. man.. at least i gave two shits about school this time and tried harder knowing she'd like it this way.
What happens when you try your best but your best just doesn't seem good enough ?
What happens when you find out that giving your 150% of your heart and effort only gets you so far?
What happens when the person you love can hardly trust you ? Seemingly another obstacle or rather another gut punch that I'll have to endure. Pretty much when this kinda stuff happens, you feel like even when you say " I love you" your partner doesn't seem to trust those words coming out your mouth. Of course sure i knew I'd have to take a hit or two but wow, my mind seemed to have blanked out and the blood flowing through me seemed to have froze when I found out how little trust she has in me.

Unconditional love is patient and kind.

It is not self-seeking. It does not keep a record of wrongs.
Every human relationship will suffer hurt. Thus, we all need to become better forgivers and confessors. That ability to reconcile and spirit of humbleness will prove the depth of your love and commitment.
Unconditional love develops trust because as you express this kind of love towards someone -- generally he or she will sense your acceptance and feel comfortable.

Maybe I'm not getting it right now and what if its only been a few months, what you feel is what you feel. So then why does it seem like my unconditional love isn't reaching out to her.. ?
Trying my best just doesn't seem to be enough. Which i believe that i must keep trying.
BOY i sound emo and crap but i guess i just needed to express :( haha

Dominos

I'm probably a bit late on posting about something that happened around a week ago or so but since i started this blog AFTER i went to that event then you can't really blame me. My group usually sucks at making plans for events and such for fun although if we could think of events we have to think of the money situation and the people to go .. BROOKLYN is boring, its deadass dull here, Last place we planned up that ended up being fun was Blood Manor, a premiere haunted house rated "#1" but I have to admit i did get startled in the beginning, and the people there do try pretty hard to scare the shit out of you but half of it was failed attempts, Our group was probably at the age where we know what to expect from these kind of things BUT the female half of our group were spooked out of their mind so they definetly got their moneys worth. Male half = My group, female half = My girlfriend's group. It was pretty fun meeting new people, more spontaneous on their half that brought out the more outgoing side of my group so i guess asians really do stay quiet often until talked to. Overall that day wasn't bad i mean we all seem to have gotten our moneys worth, took over a dominos pizza

The PAPER

Money Money Moneyyyy $$$.. i really do hate not having enough money, sure I have a bit, well at least enough to cover most expenses but I have no job and such so what the hell ! I mean eventually I'll fall behind and run out and what am I going to do after that ? Maybe I can supplicate. Boy I can't wait till i can get a job effortlessly, I'm not a fan of dealing with applications and resumes and I don't ever want to head back to fast food either so I'm either going to have to deal with this bull crap of worrying over low cash or take the initiative and get a dam job OR as the 3rd option, try sports betting a little more and see how much that can get me till i find a real job ?
I'm really getting the gist of Italian food .. mmmmm Italian food, but I've eaten it for a while that now i wanna try something new, something like..French ! I don't think I've ever eaten French, or maybe i have but never noticed that it was french but I'm sure it can't cost that much either, maybe as expensive as a typical meal in Tgi Fridays i guess ? But I'll go around the web and look for a decent french restaurant that serves LEGIT french food and try it out with my girlfriend when we can .. don't slap french fries on and tell me that's french cause goddammit I'm not gonna pay $10 for french fries.

The Paranormal Proposal of 2012

Theres a few movies I'd like to watch in the upcoming months but the thing is ... i don't like the whole movie theater atmosphere where you cram with a bunch of people, i rather bring that movie home, grab a plate of lasagna and a bag of chips or some sort of junk food and watch the movie like that. Luckily for me, I'm watching The Proposal at my friend's house along with my girlfriend which the choice of movie was hers so i'm expecting her to enjoy it more than i will.
The other 2 movies which are "Paranormal Activity " and "2012" are pretty hyped up so when i do plan to see it I'm hoping its lives up to the hype.
I hate the feeling of hunger late at night because i realllllly don't feel like eating late at night anymore. Must start working out, yeah that's right I've been slacking but luckily i take a weight training class so in a way it balances but why bother with the food in the first place.

My friend has nowww started to work in a company where they just might scam him, paying for training and such, i guess it works when you want to trap suckers like him who needs jobs, while i do need a job but i wouldn't bother with these so called companies making empty promises and selling false products or so, nor do I like doing hard labor like my last job so why bother. For an odd reason though, i always have enough money to cover my expenses, eventually I'll be running out soon but until then why not save that sweet moooolah and see where it can get me. I hear some rich fellas make it big with just a few bucks ;)

Snap snap

I realize that i sort of need a camera o__o i mean it'd be pretty darn useful you know ? i can take around a pic a day to emphasize how my day actually was instead of colorless words that show very bleak imagery.
Sure I'd love to own a digital SLR camera one day, well its not like an impossible goal but am i really going to keep to a 500-$700 camera goal ? i think not but its a nice dream haha

2 weeks or so

The day rightttt after Halloween is well.. my birthday. Not that i intend to celebrate it in any special way nor would i want to. If it can seem just like any other day I'd be fine with that as long as i see my girlfriend haha, apparently any time i get to see her my day brightens up, no matter how many times i get frustrated at her,but who knows what will come up, overall tho that pic below is telling me i want a Pikachu themed cake.

In sickness

Dammit I'm tired of sleeping so late but i somehow can't manage to thrust myself onto bed early enough, semi-insomnia? maybe, to add on to this I'm sick as well.
I also need to find ways to make some cash but I'm to lazy to take an initiative and go for it, a lot of future planning has already been done but none of which involves hard work, mostly daydreaming about what to do for vacations & weekend.
Whats plan 1 ? clear off my girlfriend's birthday present as well as the plans for what to do on her birthday, after that its Christmas which isn't too far apart but after those events i should hopefully be able to plan something for my group of friends, whats a far yet not impossible event ? this :
http://z.about.com/d/cruises/1/0/P/I/4/Oasis_03.jpg
not too bad huh ? but we'll see how things come up.
I scored a good 90 on cinema class today, not too shabby but i wish at least pass all my classes the same way, unfortunately for me math is always an obstacle, a kick in the face every time i go because i know absolutely nothing and clueless about everything there, i understand no material of any sort in that class... so who said all Asians were good in math ? HA... i beg to differ, but besides that class i can live with all the others.
Haven't been listening to music that much lately, maybe none of these songs really pique my interest but its always about the beat to me, if your song's got a killer beat I'd listen to it countless times even if your song was sung in Indian.

- We were given: Two hands to hold. Two legs to walk. Two eyes to see. Two ears to listen. But why only one heart? Because the other was given to someone else. For us to find.