LAST DAY 30th

Well right now your on your way back to s.i from "Calbana " lols, i enjoyedd our convo last night because it was so lively and energetic ! not that i don't enjoy our usual convos BUT i don't like last nights convo just because we talked about... youknowwhat -.-
Well i woke up and you weren't online, so i couldn't talk to you for practically the whole day, we got a few words in but nothing much because youuu decided to go to sleep, but i don't blame you, long trip, car sick .. i hope your feeling better nothing much on my day except i waited 2hrs for a haircut which i got, maybe not short enough, you can see tmr when i come by s.i IDC i'm gonna come !
Hotpotted with fam today ! i don't know what you did after my dinner because you didn't respond but my guess would beeeee, mcdonalds for dinner then you went home and showered, talked to dudes on aim and probably aimed me, i didn't recieve it though because of no service when i was in the pool at balleys sorrrrry :(
You got busy after i called so i tried calling when i got home.
Ohyeah did i mention i went home from my haircut today and i started loudly singing this random lyric and when i stepped into the living room my brother's gf was there.. i was like " oops" but my parents were home so i wasn't pressured into leaving the house -.-
Idk what your away message " idkkk" is about but i hope its nothing bad lol.. i notice you getting random moods but I WILL MAKE IT BETTER, your mood starting from when you read this will be FEEEEELING LOVED.
I'M GLAD YOUR FUCKEN BACK NOW i want to see you so much lol.. and no its not because you teased me the other day making me want missionary, my hormones are controlleddd.
Pretty much after i got home, ate a small snack and played yugioh with kenny lol.. don't even start with that ha.
But HAAAA i did do logging so in your faaay-seeeee, i hope your mood is a lot better when you read this lol, i'm gonna put a bandaid over my pimple because it looks.. bleh.. yeah i'm preventing it from popping and jizzing...LOL

HERES TODAYYYY for real pic go to my photobucket






LOVE YOU LILYXIAO BYE <3 I'm not throwing hearts around -.-

MUAHA

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sNkUqxqa5oc

1 1/2 days

DEC 29TH !
well, woke up and you were already on the hills with your fam while they skate and the whole time you've been losing service so we couldn't talk as much BUT wow did u miss a lot of my aims lol -.-
and you actually said you missed me haha, made my day even if it was sarcasmmm or a "jk" was supposed to follow it ! you've been doing that lately but oh wellllll, i wannnnt to tell you i LOVE YOU LOVE YOU LOVE YOU repeatedly but i'll leave it for the end of the day where you can reply with a " lol nights " which money betttt you'll be doing tonight also lmao
Righttt i was supposed to go to the gym A LOTTT earlier then usual today because my brother's gf came over again and well.. he really wanted me to leave the house IDK what they did because my parents went to queens for who knows what so there was a lot of hours in between but kenny was asleep till goddam 3 so i was awkwardly in the house with them.
You don't know howww happy my brother was when i said " yo close the door for me " lol -.- after i left i aimed him and said " keep my bed the way it is " ha.
I was finally able to sweat in the gym today ! lol abs and arms are really sore, show you the progress of a 5 day workout when i can or when you make time for us.
Haha you were clueless about where these logs are but HA its all rightttt here, enjoy, imma aim you back now and give say " back <3" thats right -.- with a heart.
LOVE YOU - Dan :)

xliilybby 3:08 pm
and i think we gun leave soon
lol
uh
i miss you. lol <<<<< HIGHLIGHT OF MY DAY YADIGGG
whooszdan 3:09 pm
lmao
i miss you more !
1 1/2 days left
">:o"
whooszdan 3:10 pm
tell me u got those aims
:O
asdjhsa

DEC 28th

Well, shes left forr i guess Albany and i miss her already lol, i kind of do wish she could've stayed in Bk/Si that way i have more time to spend with her. Nothinggg perverted -.- lol but yeah really though i wanna hold her !!
While its sunny down here its snowy up there, can't wait till she comes back... New years ! 2010 is practically here and its time for our new beginning :T
I'm supposed to go to my cousin's house and pick up my 1 week free pass to Balleys but i feel way to lazy and besides i want to talk to her, through her carsickness and through her already 2nd trip to mcdonalds lol -.-
Might hang with some old Jhs classmates but i don't really want to go, he invited me i was like uhhh not sure, i have to save up some money for when shes back we can go out ! :)


" I want to hold you till my body loses itself to age. "

CHRiSTMAS DAY

Nothing much except waking up at 1 and i pretty much didnt expect it to feel like christmas, me and her had a serious talk last night which seems to have distanced us right now, we aren't talking even though shes playing with her little cousins but our convo might've been more energetic if we had'nt had that talk. I gave her this box recently, its to accompany her on her trip, a bit corny but hey.. i'm corny so what i can say haha. A family gathering later and ehh not a big fan of it anymore since everyones grown up and we don't find the crap we used to do back then fun anymore.
Went on facebook just before and wow i didn't know i still get jealous like that, these dudes just love talking to her, ah w.e i can't say a thing about it lol. >.>
Good news ! I've controlled my temper a lottttt throughout the month i guess its because i'm willing to change for her. I really though wish somehow she could feel how much she means in my life. Christmas wish ! haha
Ice skating tmr, i'm looking forward to it actually, especially since its with her ? lol, i think it'll be fun, i'll get to teachhh her how to ice skate and well before she leaves on her trip i get to see her so it sounds nice hm.

ChickenRoll

I feel like shit right now, i was fine up till like around 7 ? i mean its ok that i wasn't able to see her today but something about today.. i just dont feel good at all, i mean we said our goodnights and all.. but i guess the thing is, i just wish that we'd get along in the sense that we both know we love eachother. I've thought long and hard, i know its worth all this crap i'm feeling right now because well, shes worth it, every single bit of it even if she doesnt feel the same. I'd like to find a way back to her heart where it beats. Sadly noone can see through to the chambers of my heart cuz well, shes in there each and every chamber of my heart and if she knew, maybe it wouldn't turn out like this.. but alls about to end, i gotta find out how she feels about EVERYTHING soon. Because what i want.. is for us to start this new year together.

ED HARDY

ed hardy ed hardy ed hardy

All the way from china

I finally got to talk to my sister but on aim and shes in china but that was the only way, finally got a view of what she thought at things and kept her updated with everybody and things thats happened so far.. apparenttlyyy
Wh o o sz D a N 12:33 pm
lmao
what happened
ohhcarrie 12:34 pm
theres no what happened
its only one thing
one week
every month !
sheeesh !
lol
Wh o o sz D a N 12:35 pm
OH
OH
OHHHH
oh dam
LOL
Wh o o sz D a N 12:36 pm
lmaoooo
i was like
tornado ?

Heart clutched up

I don't know how much more my system can take of eating only a meal a day consisting of a small snack.
Food just doesn't agree with me when misery occupies my whole body. If your reading this right now.. I'm writing this before i sleep and yeah, I'm sleeping early, I want to still call you my baby.. my everything.. your all I'll ever want, you may want me to move on.. but things just don't work that way, its been a week and a half since we've been apart and I've died each day. I've wondered if you cared about our breakup and well.. i really hope i still occupy your heart and i know i make it hard but.. how can i not when I'm unable to connect with the girl i love anymore ?
You really mean the world to me.. to prove it ? I'd die for you.. wow i sound horribly emo and after reading your drafts its takes me back to the days when we were happy.. when we were able to let ourselves express our love
Adam Lambert - Whatya want from me .. ignore the title

Nowadays i know we both want to talk our hearts out to each other and all i want to do is hold you and buss with you... I've yet to find a way
I've found this very cute video on youtube but and yeah.. its put me to tears numerous times because of how it relates to whats happened to us, even as i'm typing this right now.. this song is being played..
I really hope you don't complain about your present from me, its from the heart and i remember that you said you liked those, BARE with it because i know its not the best thing in the world
For your bday i wanted to make it as special as possible because this is the first and ... well i wish it wasn't but might be the last bday i get to somewhat spend with you but i guess things haven't gone our way at all.
Me without You - Neyo

I really want us to work again, i know it'll take some time but.. i guess i don't want to disappear from your heart during these times at all.. i know if i was to say all this to you in person or online you'd be your stubborn self and close me off :T that's why this is the only way if your able to read this. Don't be all worried and such but I'm technically broke now after buying your bday and Christmas gift lol :x its alright, I'll survive :) as long as your happy, i can sell my yugioh cards !

My school grades are struggling nowadays but i hope yours is still up lol, i don't want us to be the reason why you've slacked babe.. and yeah i said it, i called you babe..
You might think this is easier for us both.. but we both know this isn't true, you might think by doing this I'll move on.. but it'll give me more time to miss you and you know that..
I don't want you to suffer either but.. only the good can overcome the bad.. we just had to give it some time, i don't want you to give up on us.. and inside i know you don't want to either...
NO PAIN NO GAIN
ahha it js seemed a bit funny to say :x like the word CHOLO lol

I love you forever. Lily xiao
From the guy who loves you enough to give you all of his world, Daniel Lin <3

DonEdHardy.

I think i'm a bit addicted to Ed hardy sneakers, it seems i want nearly all the sneakers they offer there, especially the white ones look nice -.- all thats left is to save for a few pairs.

Confusion.

My head has been dizzy lately, literally . I get lightheaded often and the fact that i always wake up too early in the morning due to dreams isn't helping. In a way I'm very fatigued since a lots happened lately .
I don't know at all if what we decided on was the correct choice and i do want to change it and see if there's a better way. Without her i really don't know what to do, there doesn't seem to be any direction in life right now. First thing in the morning as soon as i wake is realize i don't have her by me anymore. In a weird sense i do feel that me and her are meant for each other .. too much confidence ? maybe but i don't mind because it seems about right, well to me anyway. I don't want to find anyone else anymore. This is probably a time in my life where i know when to be serious about things, and honestly i want to get things right and have her in my life.
"Crazy is what crazy do ...Crazy in love, I'm a crazy fool"

Guess

To shop for necessities I've found only 2, sadly I'm not one to find a casual ordinary wallet or belt.
For some reason i want a Guess wallet or Belt !

A Drop in The Ocean

"A drop in the ocean,
A change in the weather,
I was praying that you and me might end up together.
It's like wishing for rain as I stand in the desert,
But I'm holding you closer than most,
'Cause you are my heaven. "

Another day has passed and marks another day i feel pain
Dreams I've had lately really took a toll on me, i would just wake up and check my phone and see if what i dreamt about really happened, in a way i feel better that the crap that happens in my dreams didn't happen, but that would mean waking up and realizing she isn't by my side anymore. It hurts a whole lot thinking about times i held her close and it hurts to know i cant hold her like that anymore.
In another hour or so I'll be going to the shore, just because i feel the need to sense that calmness and peacefulness i once felt whenever i was with her.
I've come to realize that she does need time to sort things out, and I'm willing to give her time because I'd literally wait forever for her, and I'd just wish she would hear what i have to say as well but time will tell...right ?
My philosophy a few days ago of " do or die " has been abandoned just because i know circumstances are totally different this time. As these days pass by i know we both would try to call out a distress call to each other but no one wants to reach out till something solidifies maybe ?
All that i can do is hope.

As i tried to hold her, I left this pain with a kiss on the cheek.

Been too long since I've last posted but life's become quite hectic, A lots happened as of late more difficulties then rewards. Financial problems and relationship problems or well I'm not sure if i can say that anymore since i don't have a relationship anymore. All the past few months I've thought we were doing OK, i mean there's been rough edges here and there but what people don't ? Maybe I've gave off a wrong sign by making it seems as if i was tired or sick of fighting and arguing more then usual but eventually things workout, Me and her never spend that much time staying mad at each other anyway, and besides.. as long as by the end of the day we know we'd still have each other and still love each other then... i feel as if life really cant be that bad because i know I'd still have her. Somewhere along this road we slipped and sure we both feel like shit and such when we argue but it would never compare to losing that person. I guess between this and everything else that's happened to me life has gone back downhill.
I've never been much of a person who would give something up as long as i believe in it enough to be worth every single breath I've got.
I probably also bottled up those feelings of lost and despair for too long without getting them out, so apparently i let it all out yesterday, the water works and such, sick display for even i couldn't believe it took such a toll on me which is worse when i miss her also.
As i type this i have this scared feeling.. i really am scared to lose her i know.

Fushimi.

Dinner was fine, I originally didn't plan to go seeing as how I'm a bit low on cash but i went, a good amount of people were there, and yeah it was bad.. we ate some pretty unique food you can say and shared a few laughs. The atmosphere wasn't bad either, a bit pricey but you only turn 18 once and my sister was turning 19 so heck why not.
I'm pretty assed out even as I'm typing this up right now, just got home after about 3-4 hours of playing cards at a friends house while snacking on cinnamon buns, chips and Capri sun. It feels more fun than crap like bar hopping etc.
I miss her a lot as well, an hr or so after i last saw her i started missing her, if I'm correct.. this is definitely love or well, that's how i feel anyways but spending practically the whole day with her made my day, while the rest of my buddies made my night.
Halloween is tomorrow and usually i don't celebrate it in any way after i got into my sophomore year. I doubt there's going to be "huge" plans anyway. Was invited to a drinking party but i enjoy staying sober also, drinking brings me no satisfaction anymore, especially knowing she wouldn't like it also.
Only thing to look forward to now is Sunday, my official birthday, hmm what will happen, i wonder ha

1pm

Another day as i sit by a rainy day, as the countdown begins the anticipation quickens. My sister's birthday is tomorrow which means i should buy the birthday card soon in this rainy day. I'll live i guess but i hate going out in a rainy day unless it was to see my girlfriend, which I'd walk down a blizzard for, but through the rain for school and such is just ridiculous.
My body seems to have been rusty that's why after working out my arms and stomach area is sore. I'm not horribly in pain but I'm not a fan of long lasting physical pain.
Birthday wise I've no idea whats to happen, my family wants to do a gathering kind of crap, I want to see my girlfriend that day and i also have no idea what to expect , presents ? uhh i haven't gotten any the past few years so I'm not expecting anything major this time either. The birthday dinner kind of thing shouldn't be too bad, my sister is really looking forward to it but i guess that's to be expected since she says this is her last yr in NY for a while. Me on the other hand would've been fine with a smaller group but i guess anything is OK in the end. Birthday cake !? i donttt think I'm seeing one this year haha

GFLX

Well most likely your reading this because you saw my away message and well, since we're too stubborn to talk to eachother on aim or so i'll just tell you here that I really do love you, whenever this kinda crap happens we both try and provoke eachother which is true -__-
I want you to know I'll take the time to build up our trust again piece by piece and sure I'm a bit uneasy because you don't trust me but if its for you then I'll go through anything to make you happy although i know that the fact that you can't trust me makes you unhappy as well but it seems sometimes that you wouldn't notice all the thing's I've done. Unconditional love.. that's what i hope to provide for you. I wish that you'd be a bit less stubborn tho -.-" haha, makes it sometimes seem like you don't care but no matter what i'll always have that S on my chest for you ;)

11:00 pm

Awake ! and ready for anything !.. unfortunately its rainingggg wow, i was hoping it wouldn't so I'd get a few things done today and would be able to go out but i woke up and saw my window splattered with rain WTHH. Guess its only school for me today.
I found out Ne-Yo sings from a lot of different perspectives, most of his songs are coming from the the view of a guy but i dug some up that actually comes from a girl's view although you can just switch up the words a bit and it'd be for a guy. I'm not complaining about his song because they are pretty dam good andd as i type this i just looked out my window, rain is GONE but nowhere to go now its still a pointless sit at home till school crap, only thing I'm looking forward to right now is cinema class, new horror movie COME TO ME ! :D

What goes up, must come BACK down

As the post title says " What goes up, must come BACK down ". In general my day should have been a bit better than a typical school day which consists of a routine following : waking up, brunch, comp/anime all in all while talking to my gf if she was online, she is in day school haha , the better side of education per say . Although today i did receive my report card with some miraculous news.. i passed nearly all my classes, sure they were a bit low and i failed one class this marking period but hey its improvement, like a major improvement from the previous years that I've attended this school so I guess you can say i was pretty satisfied with the grades knowing that it can only get better from here. Far from being the least bit of satisfied, my girlfriend was pretty damn disappointed at my report card actually, I guess when your with someone who's used to 90s and such that there would be disappointment instead of any sort of satisfactory comments. Basically my "better than usual" mood was shot down easily. man.. at least i gave two shits about school this time and tried harder knowing she'd like it this way.
What happens when you try your best but your best just doesn't seem good enough ?
What happens when you find out that giving your 150% of your heart and effort only gets you so far?
What happens when the person you love can hardly trust you ? Seemingly another obstacle or rather another gut punch that I'll have to endure. Pretty much when this kinda stuff happens, you feel like even when you say " I love you" your partner doesn't seem to trust those words coming out your mouth. Of course sure i knew I'd have to take a hit or two but wow, my mind seemed to have blanked out and the blood flowing through me seemed to have froze when I found out how little trust she has in me.

Unconditional love is patient and kind.

It is not self-seeking. It does not keep a record of wrongs.
Every human relationship will suffer hurt. Thus, we all need to become better forgivers and confessors. That ability to reconcile and spirit of humbleness will prove the depth of your love and commitment.
Unconditional love develops trust because as you express this kind of love towards someone -- generally he or she will sense your acceptance and feel comfortable.

Maybe I'm not getting it right now and what if its only been a few months, what you feel is what you feel. So then why does it seem like my unconditional love isn't reaching out to her.. ?
Trying my best just doesn't seem to be enough. Which i believe that i must keep trying.
BOY i sound emo and crap but i guess i just needed to express :( haha

Dominos

I'm probably a bit late on posting about something that happened around a week ago or so but since i started this blog AFTER i went to that event then you can't really blame me. My group usually sucks at making plans for events and such for fun although if we could think of events we have to think of the money situation and the people to go .. BROOKLYN is boring, its deadass dull here, Last place we planned up that ended up being fun was Blood Manor, a premiere haunted house rated "#1" but I have to admit i did get startled in the beginning, and the people there do try pretty hard to scare the shit out of you but half of it was failed attempts, Our group was probably at the age where we know what to expect from these kind of things BUT the female half of our group were spooked out of their mind so they definetly got their moneys worth. Male half = My group, female half = My girlfriend's group. It was pretty fun meeting new people, more spontaneous on their half that brought out the more outgoing side of my group so i guess asians really do stay quiet often until talked to. Overall that day wasn't bad i mean we all seem to have gotten our moneys worth, took over a dominos pizza

The PAPER

Money Money Moneyyyy $$$.. i really do hate not having enough money, sure I have a bit, well at least enough to cover most expenses but I have no job and such so what the hell ! I mean eventually I'll fall behind and run out and what am I going to do after that ? Maybe I can supplicate. Boy I can't wait till i can get a job effortlessly, I'm not a fan of dealing with applications and resumes and I don't ever want to head back to fast food either so I'm either going to have to deal with this bull crap of worrying over low cash or take the initiative and get a dam job OR as the 3rd option, try sports betting a little more and see how much that can get me till i find a real job ?
I'm really getting the gist of Italian food .. mmmmm Italian food, but I've eaten it for a while that now i wanna try something new, something like..French ! I don't think I've ever eaten French, or maybe i have but never noticed that it was french but I'm sure it can't cost that much either, maybe as expensive as a typical meal in Tgi Fridays i guess ? But I'll go around the web and look for a decent french restaurant that serves LEGIT french food and try it out with my girlfriend when we can .. don't slap french fries on and tell me that's french cause goddammit I'm not gonna pay $10 for french fries.

The Paranormal Proposal of 2012

Theres a few movies I'd like to watch in the upcoming months but the thing is ... i don't like the whole movie theater atmosphere where you cram with a bunch of people, i rather bring that movie home, grab a plate of lasagna and a bag of chips or some sort of junk food and watch the movie like that. Luckily for me, I'm watching The Proposal at my friend's house along with my girlfriend which the choice of movie was hers so i'm expecting her to enjoy it more than i will.
The other 2 movies which are "Paranormal Activity " and "2012" are pretty hyped up so when i do plan to see it I'm hoping its lives up to the hype.
I hate the feeling of hunger late at night because i realllllly don't feel like eating late at night anymore. Must start working out, yeah that's right I've been slacking but luckily i take a weight training class so in a way it balances but why bother with the food in the first place.

My friend has nowww started to work in a company where they just might scam him, paying for training and such, i guess it works when you want to trap suckers like him who needs jobs, while i do need a job but i wouldn't bother with these so called companies making empty promises and selling false products or so, nor do I like doing hard labor like my last job so why bother. For an odd reason though, i always have enough money to cover my expenses, eventually I'll be running out soon but until then why not save that sweet moooolah and see where it can get me. I hear some rich fellas make it big with just a few bucks ;)

Snap snap

I realize that i sort of need a camera o__o i mean it'd be pretty darn useful you know ? i can take around a pic a day to emphasize how my day actually was instead of colorless words that show very bleak imagery.
Sure I'd love to own a digital SLR camera one day, well its not like an impossible goal but am i really going to keep to a 500-$700 camera goal ? i think not but its a nice dream haha

2 weeks or so

The day rightttt after Halloween is well.. my birthday. Not that i intend to celebrate it in any special way nor would i want to. If it can seem just like any other day I'd be fine with that as long as i see my girlfriend haha, apparently any time i get to see her my day brightens up, no matter how many times i get frustrated at her,but who knows what will come up, overall tho that pic below is telling me i want a Pikachu themed cake.

In sickness

Dammit I'm tired of sleeping so late but i somehow can't manage to thrust myself onto bed early enough, semi-insomnia? maybe, to add on to this I'm sick as well.
I also need to find ways to make some cash but I'm to lazy to take an initiative and go for it, a lot of future planning has already been done but none of which involves hard work, mostly daydreaming about what to do for vacations & weekend.
Whats plan 1 ? clear off my girlfriend's birthday present as well as the plans for what to do on her birthday, after that its Christmas which isn't too far apart but after those events i should hopefully be able to plan something for my group of friends, whats a far yet not impossible event ? this :
http://z.about.com/d/cruises/1/0/P/I/4/Oasis_03.jpg
not too bad huh ? but we'll see how things come up.
I scored a good 90 on cinema class today, not too shabby but i wish at least pass all my classes the same way, unfortunately for me math is always an obstacle, a kick in the face every time i go because i know absolutely nothing and clueless about everything there, i understand no material of any sort in that class... so who said all Asians were good in math ? HA... i beg to differ, but besides that class i can live with all the others.
Haven't been listening to music that much lately, maybe none of these songs really pique my interest but its always about the beat to me, if your song's got a killer beat I'd listen to it countless times even if your song was sung in Indian.

- We were given: Two hands to hold. Two legs to walk. Two eyes to see. Two ears to listen. But why only one heart? Because the other was given to someone else. For us to find.